Child abandonment is a social, not a personal or family problem. This affirmation is supported by demographic and economic studies, which show that there are much poorer countries than Romania, where abandonment is virtually absent. Therefore, poverty is not the only cause of the abandonment of the child, but we are rather faced with a “culture of abandonment”, a sum of factors such as: marginalization, blaming, exclusion, desertion, violence, rape, abuse, separation, diminishing of the mother and child. Four children are abandoned in Romania on a daily basis, and this phenomenon is further spread in most cases, from generation to generation, and includes not only poor or marginal environments, but like any violence, can affect any type of family.
Through this project we aim to increase the life quality for the mother and child from single parent family, professionally, socially, and psychologically to a sufficient level in order to prevent child separation from his family or child abandonment.
The problems are multiple, intricate and extensive, materially, professionally, socially and psychologically, and needs depend very much on variable factors, from family to family.
Generally, our target group consists of disadvantaged single mothers, without excluding single fathers, quite the contrary actually. Mothers can have one child or more, they are in very complicated life situations, involving physical and emotional trauma, mother and/or child acute or chronic disease, lack of housing, financial resources, low educational level, depleted emotional resources, lack of family support.
We aim to inform the communities on the long-term devastating social effects of the children abandonment and to actively contribute to its prevention through all communications, participations and presentations we attend.
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“I went to the hospital alone and crying. I was only thinking of what would be and would happen, I was scared of everything and cried all the time, especially when I saw other mothers receiving visits and support from their families. After a treatment I received in the delivery room, I gave birth to a 3, 5 kg and 48 cm little girl, a small and ugly bundle with which I didn’t know what to do: my parents had already told me to leave her in the hospital and go, or to give her up for adoption, my boyfriend had made himself scarce, I had nowhere to go with her. After learning that I had nowhere to go with the child, the doctor who delivered my baby told me that there are maternity centers where mothers can stay with their children”.
“I started to work in the workshop. First time I started with little dolls made of thread, and then I started to use the sewing machine. I make different little animals of cloth and I take pleasure in all I make in the workshop and I am properly rewarded. The thing that makes me happiest is that I can take my child with me and he is loved by all the ladies from the Association”.
“I am the mother of 2 children, a boy and a girl, aged 5 and 11 respectively. The father of my children said he wanted us to have a family, but he left as soon as the boy was born. I lived 15 years in an orphanage; I have nobody to help me. With two little children, I was not able to find a better job. I was short of money all the time, I didn’t have food for my children, I was having troubles all the time, and it was very difficult alone. I didn’t want my children to get to the orphanage as I did; I was constantly looking for help. I finally met ACSIS. Slowly things started to get better for me, helping me with an allowance for my children and clothes, toys, cereals and a kindergarten for my youngest. I participate in the Creative Workshop and it helps me the best to get over worries, knowing that I have someone to help me."
“I am 17 years old and I am the mother of a 1 year and 10 month-old child whose name is VI. The father of my child is an older man who raped me and so I got pregnant. It is something I do not want to remember… Before meeting ACSIS I was passing through a very harsh period, I am living with my grandmother and we are short of money. I wanted to leave the child at the hospital, I could not see how I was able to raise him, but my grandmother didn’t allow me to, she felt pity on him not to get on the streets and be tortured. Then, after coming to the association and after talking to the ladies and mothers here, I started to be glad I didn’t abandon him. Now he is my soul!"
My name is Doina and I have two girls, 2-year-old Robi and 4-year-old Andra. Since meeting the ACSIS Association I have received help for myself as well as for my girls. Whatever I needed, I received: such as diapers and clothes, toys for my children, and the washing machine is the best gift I have ever gotten. During the holiday seasons, my children enjoyed the presents they received from the Association. Now I have begun working in the Association’s workshop. I started by making string-puppets, and then I learnt how to use a sewing-machine. I make different animals out of cloth and I take pleasure out of everything I do in the workshop. What I like most is the fact that I am able to bring my daughters with me and that they are loved by the Association’s team. Many thanks to the ACSIS Association for what it is doing for me and for my children!"
“ACSIS is a great help for me, by the fact that it is helping me with milk, with diapers, with small clothes for my little ones and the fact that we meet in groups is very nice, because one can find out many things from other mommies, which can be useful, we talk about things that are necessary for a mommy”.
Her name is Clara, she is 15 years old and has an 8-month-old boy. What she knows of the moment she was born – from her grandmother’s stories – is that her mother wanted to abandon her in the maternity ward immediately after giving birth to her, because she wanted a boy and the baby was “just” a girl… Her grandmother said then that she would raise her to the best of her abilities and she would not let her end up in an orphanage. Her grandmother is now very ill. She has been diagnosed with lung cancer and is now living with Clara and her son. They are all staying in a rented room and are uncertain about tomorrow. Ever since she can remember, she has been moving with her grandmother from one rented home to another. Following a relationship with a 15-year-old boy, Marian was born. At such a young age, she did not know what a pregnancy meant. That is why she only realized she was pregnant when she was already in her 6th month. She did not tell the father of her child, knowing he would not do anything to help her. They lost touch. Clara then moved someplace else with her grandmother and began a new life. Her grandmother advised her to abandon the child in the maternity ward, because of their lack of income. Fortunately, however, Clara made the decision to keep the baby. The social worker in the maternity clinic talked to her and told her that she could benefit from the support of the ACSIS Association, that she could raise her child with our help. She is a child who has a child… “When Marian is asleep, I like to watch cartoons or to read stories and children’s poems. I learn them by heart and I tell them to him when he wakes up”, Clara says. They grow up together…
"When I arrived at the ACSIS association I was in a desperate situation, we had been banished by my daughter’s father from the house where we were a family. I went through many hardships, but here I got help promptly, heartily and respectfully. I got over those moments with the help of Association. Then I felt that we exist, that I am a human being, that I and my daughter count, that we exist and that we were not forgotten. The most beautiful moment was when my daughter wrote a letter to Santa Claus that I gave to the ladies from Association... I cannot describe the joy she had when she received exactly what she wanted: a microscope that she uses for her daily studies, the books that she wanted, sweets, and the idea that she is loved, that she feels like in a family. We are grateful for all the care and support received from the association.”
"My name is Camelia, I am 23 years old. I have a 2 year and 6 month – old daughter. I went to ACSIS for help because I was facing many problems. After I gave birth, my boyfriend left me because I didn’t have a baby boy for him. I got back to my parents because I had no other place to go. My parents were looking daggers at me because I was left alone with a baby. They finally accepted the situation. But I didn’t have a job; I didn’t have anything to raise my child. ACSIS helped me by paying me a monthly allowance. They paid a Manicure – Pedicure Course for me so that I could find a job easier. I received a lot of support from the Social Worker and from the Psychologist. I took part in the Creation Workshop where I learned how to sew and cut out. Now the Social Worker is helping me find a job that suits my qualification. At present I feel I am more self-confident and that I’ve started to change my life. And I am struggling for what I wish”.
I didn’t think anyone was going to help me. I can’t believe that a few strangers can help me so much.
Child abandonment is a social, not a personal or family problem. This affirmation is supported by demographic and economic studies, which show that there are much poorer countries than Romania, where abandonment is virtually absent. Therefore, poverty is not the only cause of the abandonment of the child, but we are rather faced with a “culture of abandonment”, a sum of factors such as: marginalization, blaming, exclusion, desertion, violence, rape, abuse, separation, diminishing of the mother and child. Four children are abandoned in Romania on a daily basis, and this phenomenon is further spread in most cases, from generation to generation, and includes not only poor or marginal environments, but like any violence, can affect any type of family.
